It started with pecan pie
The evening before Thanksgiving I moved into my mother-in-law’s kitchen and pulled out the ingredients to begin making my chocolate bourbon pecan pie. Not long later my niece, 13 and one of the kindest eighth graders I’ve ever known, walked in. And the words of my best friend, offering the sweetest bit of advice, came to mind.As moms, when the opportunity arises we need to let them talk #Advice4MyDaughters Click To Tweet
While my girls played dolls, she and I stood at the kitchen counter and chatted. It started with an easy question, “How’s school?” The conversation took off from there and went on for almost and hour and a half as I made pie and she shared. She told me about school, her favorite subject and favorite teacher (the two not being the same). Then she confided that she’d made all “As” and one “B”. I could tell it bothered her; that “B” in her eyes seemed to represent some fall from grace. A mark of imperfection. Gently, I reminded her that no one was perfect; that we all had different strengths. I shared that God did not call us to be the best at everything – just that we try our best. Pausing a moment, she looked at me and said “You should write that down, that’s really wise Aunt Julia. I have to remember that.”Our girls need godly advice in an ungodly world. #Advice4MyDaughters Click To Tweet
Grateful for the easy conversation I found myself hoping the words would flow as easily when my girls were the same age. However, I know, like any Momma, that sometimes my words aren’t always well timed. Sometimes the wisdom I once had a grasp on seems to escape me. I decided then that I would make a list of all the truths I wanted to share with my girls so that one day I would have something to turn back to. I wanted a treasure trove of the elusive wisdom.
Advice every girl needs to hear
Learn to be okay with your own company.
Baby girl, don’t be so desperate for the company of others. It’s tempting to fill your days and spaces with people and things and anything else that adds to the noise in our lives. When you become accustomed to the noise it makes it difficult to remember the importance of the quiet spaces. Without the still moments it is difficult for you to hear the gentle whisper of God and discern the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Learn to enjoy a meal on your own or find a comfy seat at the local coffee shop and journal.Learn to be okay with your own company. #Advice4MyDaughters Click To Tweet
Be a good friend.
Whether you can count your friends on one hand or two isn’t significant. Quantity never makes up for quality. But, just as important as having good friends is learning what it means to be a good friend. Learn to listen to what is said and what is unsaid. Notice the silences and the absences. Don’t abuse a friendship but also don’t be afraid to ask a friend for help.
Life is full of hard moments and hard things; that’s okay, you can do hard things. You are stronger and more capable than you think you are. The truth is that most things in life will be hard at one point or another. Don’t quit or give up just because things get difficult. Quitting is a habit you don’t want to start and one difficult to stop.Sometimes life is about doing the hard things. #Advice4MyDaughters Click To Tweet
You are loved, even when you don’t feel it.
The world may whisper into your ear that you’re too much; that you’re too difficult. Satan will tell you that nobody cares, that nobody loves you.
Don’t believe them. It’s a lie.
The truth is that you are loved. You were created by a Heavenly Father that loved you before you were born. You are loved so much that you were bought and paid for with the price of blood. Don’t trust your feelings; so many different things can influence how you feel. Never let how you feel dictate what you know and recognize as truth about who and whose you are. You are a daughter of the King. You are a much loved daughter.You are loved, even when you don't feel it. #Advice4MyDaughters Click To Tweet
There are many things I pray you will be and one of them is kind. Kindness costs you nothing. A simple kindness whether it be by word or gesture may change the entire course of a person’s day. I hope that you will seek to influence people for good just by being kind. Be kind to your classmates, friends, and neighbors. I pray you grow into a young woman known for her kindness.
Don’t pick up anything you weren’t meant to carry.
There are some loads too heavy for your young arms. Let us help you carry them.
You will have friends with baggage that is more like trash than anything worth keeping. They will drop it at your feet, secretly hoping you will pick it up and carry the smelly, unwieldy load. Don’t do it. When you pick up their trash it will spill over into your own life, taint you with it’s smell and bury you under the burden.Don't pick up anything you weren't meant to carry. #AdviceForMyDaughters Click To Tweet
Advice for Momma
Momma, in the midst of a busy season let me encourage you to slow down enough to listen. Give your girl the opportunity and space and ear she needs to be heard. And, when the time is right, offer the little bit of wisdom and advice she not only needs but is ready to hear.
If you enjoyed this blog post please share on social media and subscribe to ensure you receive my latest post. Also, I would love to know what bits of advice you have or intend to share with your daughters.