At least once a week I’m sure that I’m messing up my kids, certain that the failure of the week will permanently damage their young and vulnerable psyche. I find myself worrying that in the twinkling of an eye I will do something that will undermine all the years of deliberate prayer and effort to raise confident girls that know not only who and whose they are, but that also feel well loved and capable.
I feel guilty about the mornings we’re running late and I’m snapping at my oldest as we walk out the door. And, I wonder if I should be concerned that my youngest still demands her father at bedtime; I can rock her and pray and read but at the end of the night daddy still needs to be the last one out the door.
I feel guilty about the fact that I am constantly racing against the clock in the morning – walking in late to the office after I make the drop at school if I decide to splurge on Starbucks.
I feel guilty when I crawl into bed exhausted and my head hits the pillow weighed down with the realization that the Weatherman and I were more like two passing ships than friends and lovers.Feeling guilty about what I'm not won't make me a better wife or mother. #WorkMom… Click To Tweet
I don’t know about you, but this call to motherhood hasn’t always gone the way I’d anticipated. Frankly, by the time I had kids I thought I’d rock it out the gate. It’s not like there were any prerequisites and I’d survived law school for crying out loud. However, a few years of mothering also comes with a good dose of humility and a nice side of perspective. What I know now is that we will all screw things up along the way. We will have minor infractions and even some big ones.
It’s going to happen. Own it and move on. Who has time for guilt?
The key to surviving motherhood?
Grace. (Mostly for yourself.)
Let me pause though, and say this. There is a difference between guilt (not of God) and conviction. Feelings of guilt we need to shake off like the dust on our shoes. Conviction though is something different. If you’re feeling convicted about your choices or behavior take the time to figure out what’s going on. Pray. We can trust God to use the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin in our life. Repent, change your ways and keep on moving.We must learn to extend ourselves grace. #WorkMom Click To Tweet
But for those little things that seem so big, extend yourself a little grace. Don’t let the little things consume so much real estate in your life. Forgetting every day of spirit week won’t scar your children for life, nor will forgetting the candy for their Easter baskets. (I’m speaking from experience.)
And Mommas, believe me, there will be days when you are absolutely rocking things. Your children will be well behaved, well dressed and well fed all in the same moment while brimming with confidence on their way to school. You will have showered before breakfast, you hair won’t be in a pony tail and that liquid eyeliner technique you perfected in your twenties will be well on display (on both eyes) as you glide into the school 5 minutes before the release bell rings. Don’t forget that feeling of gliding through those school hallways in something other than the leggings you slept in – you’re going to need it.