Oh momma’s, I had the greatest of intentions – 30 Days of Thankfulness for the 30 Days of November. My plan was to write everyday through the month of November about something that I was grateful for. The goal was to execute a personal exercise that would center my focus on having a spirit of gratitude. And then somehow it got lost.
Can I get an “Amen”? Do you know that feeling?
Between being a wife and mother, work, planning to host Thanksgiving, actually hosting Thanksgiving and then of course a sinus infection it was just too much. In the midst of everything, I finally decided to give myself a pass. I gave myself permission to let something (my daily blog posts) go. And, it was beautiful and freeing without queuing any dramatic choruses from Disney’s Frozen.
Each day I would see new posts from my She Speaks buddies (and the other bloggers I follow) and felt strangely anxious. Wasn’t giving up the pressure to produce a good thing?
I realized that although I enjoyed reading their blogs, I struggled with feeling that I was missing out on some amazing window of opportunity because I wasn’t following suit. Seeing what they were doing created a noise in my head and my heart.
I felt like a slacker.
I felt like I wasn’t being as diligent as I should be in taking this time to build my platform and produce content.
And, I’ll confess, I was jealous of my peers. What kind of momma gets jealous about this? Here I am spending time teaching my daughter to cook and preparing a Thanksgiving meal for my family and instead of feeling grateful I’m struggling with jealousy?! Struggling with feeling like I’m missing some calling!?
And then (Praise Jesus!) I had a moment of clarity. It occurred to me that my present assignment was the family God has blessed me with. I knew that there was plenty of time to do the things God had ordained for me to do right now and that the rest could wait. I knew that they needed more my time than did my blog, my readers, or my developing platform. In that moment of clarity, I found peace in letting certain things, certain expectations, go.
Tonight, if you are struggling with feeling overwhelmed, if you are feeling the self-imposed pressure of too many things on a “to do” list – please give yourself permission to just let some things go. Not everything is urgent or a “must-do”.
Not everything is meant to be done right now.
Give yourself permission to slow down your pace and just breathe without rushing to words. And, if you can’t figure out which things can or should fall off the list then ask God to show you. Ask Him to help you order your days, ask Him to help you slow down your pace.
Allow yourself the opportunity to enjoy those people, those relationships, those priorities, that really need and deserve your attention right now. Allow yourself to enjoy the holiday, to hang up Christmas decorations and to snuggle your way through movies with your husband or kiddos. And more importantly, allow yourself a quiet moment with a cup of tea, your Bible and your Jesus.
Mommas, be present this season. Be there.