A gentle spirit 

There are many women from the church I grew up in that I admire; but there is one that stands out more than the others. Perhaps, it’s because we are closer in age, and life seasons. More likely, it’s because she possesses some of those traits I wish to further develop in myself.  She is one of the kindest and wisest women I know and have the pleasuring of calling friend.  And while there are many reasons I love and respect her, there is one trait  especially that stands out to me and that is her gentleness. This gentleness is evident in her marriage, in her relationship with her three boys, it is there with the young women she mentors and with the children she teaches.

She is the woman I want to be when I grow up, and I use her as an example of the gentleness I desire to demonstrate in my marriage and in my relationships with my children.

God, in His infinite wisdom chose to make me so very different from my friend. I know that I am kind and loving, and that I continue to grow in wisdom over the years. Sometimes though, I feel like I fall down in the area of gentleness.

My default mode is as a “fixer”; my job places me in a leadership role and the areas of responsibility have grown over the years. I have a passion for servant leadership and can be a “take charge” kind of gal. I lead well in crisis and do a good job of reading people and their talents and working to develop strong teams. These skill sets have developed over time and continue to be refined. And while I am confident in my ability to lead those I work with, there is still the matter of the little people in my care.

My oldest, (‘Eva’), is 6. This young girl has played such an integral role in the shaping of me as a mother.  I am not one of those women who grew up always knowing she wanted to have children. I didn’t love to babysit nor did I rush to hold the babies as they walked into church as some of my peers did.

Then, I got married and Eva came along.  Everything changed.  It is my love for this girl that gave me a greater, more intimate understanding of my Father’s love for me.  It is because of her that I have a richer, more appreciative relationship with my mother.  It is because of her that I feel so strongly about the necessity of godly parenting and believe that we need to advocate fervently about the importance of family, marriage and motherhood.

She is a gentle soul and very much reminds me of my friend from church. Kind, compassionate, and thoughtful, she loves and wounds so easily. She is a dreamer who loves to laugh, dance, and sing. I love this about her. Sometimes though, I feel so unequipped to mother her and wish I were more like my friend. I’m afraid that at times I’m too harsh in tone or that I expect too much from her.  Often, I find myself praying that God will shape me into the mother she needs and He created me to be. I pray for Godly wisdom in parenting and I purpose each morning as I drop her off at school to remind her of how much I love her and my belief that God created her for a very special purpose. Perhaps, one small part of that purpose is to help cultivate a spirit of gentleness in her mother.

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