Late one evening in early April, I had the opportunity to talk with Jen Weaver, author of A Wife’s Secret to Happiness. After coordinating our conversation around our spouses, work and bedtimes – it was so nice to finally sit down at the end of an evening and chat about marriage, motherhood and a host of other things. A few months later when she invited me to be a part of the blog tour for A Wife’s Secret to Happiness I jumped at the chance. When I realized that I would be sharing with you about the Eleventh and Final Chapter, The Blessings of Life as a Godly Wife, I was honored.
Let me start by saying I’ve read several books about marriage before and there is just something different about this one. Maybe, it’s Jen’s gift for storytelling, or the way it feels like you’re talking with a good friend when reading the book. Whatever the case, if you haven’t read A Wife’s Secret to Happiness yet, you need to get a copy. It really is that good – whatever stage of marriage you’re in. And, you can enter for your chance to win a copy of this amazing book simply by commenting on this post or on my Facebook and Instagram pages where I have also shared it.
Hopeful of God’s Blessings
Jen tells us that she arrives at this final chapter filled with hope; hopeful that we’ve felt the whispers of encouragement, the invitations, and the promises of God in our lives across the many pages.
And, then, ever so gently she reminds us that if we claim to be wholeheartedly sold out for God we must include our marriage in the expression of our faith. She reminds us that we can’t claim to be a Christ follower and live that relationship out with everyone but our spouse.
Reminding us to be sensitive to the prompting of our spirit and feelings of conviction she is hopeful on our behalf of the blessing that comes with obedience.God blesses our obedience. #Wifestylin @TheJenWeaver Click To Tweet
Sisters, simply put, we cannot be sold out for God and then pick and choose how we want to live out that devotion; especially when it comes to our marriage. However, if we open our arms wide and embrace what it means to be a godly wife, allowing God to fill in the gaps, we will receives the blessing of life as a godly wife. As Jen says so succinctly, Jesus wants to show off in our marriage. We need only give Him the chance.Jesus wants to show-off in our marriages. #AWifesSecrettoHappiness @TheJenWeaver Click To Tweet
Put a Stake in it
She shares with the reader the story of Jael (Judges 4 & 5), a wife who becomes a heroine, freeing the Israelites and bringing peace upon the land for 40 years. When faced with the enemy in her camp, Jael is a woman of swift and decisive action, killing the enemy with a tent peg to his head.
“But Jael, that woman put a literal stake in the ground. She aligned herself with the will of God and removed the oppressor from her camp.”
A Wife’s Secret to Happiness, Jen Weaver
Sisters, I know that I’m not the only one looking for Jesus to show up and show off in my marriage. I want so badly for Jesus to show off in my marriage – but what am I willing to do with my own tent pegs? Am I willing to root out the enemy in my camp? Are you?
Last April when I spoke with Jen, we discovered that both of us fell into the category of “can do” women. In other words, we’re your “go to” girls. We get stuff done. It also means we say “Yes” – sometimes, to too many things. That night, Jen reminded me that I needed to be intentional about saving mental and emotional space for my husband.I need to be intentional about making space for my husband. #Wifestylin @TheJenWeaver Click To Tweet
I needed to be able to turn “it” off and save something for him.
I must remember to say “No” to everyone else for the sake of him.
I come from a line of strong women. A line of women for whom things have never been easy and who hustled before ‘hustling’ was even a thing. The slower rhythms of life do not come easily to me. Truthfully, just the other day as I was recounting the plans for the days ahead my friend texted back this response:
You gotta sloooow down girl!
The pace is not sustainable. As a runner, I know this and the consequences. In running, when you run at a pace faster than what you are prepared or trained for your breathing gets out of control, your form gets sloppy and you run the risk of injury. Sometimes you a forced to a stop.
Similarly, when I allow myself to go at too fast a pace for too long things begin to suffer – my husband gets less of my time and attention and our relationship suffers for it, and eventually so will my marriage.
I need to put a stake in my pace.
I know that this pace, this busyness and moving from one thing to the next, is where I must put my stake in the ground. I recall Jen sharing with me during our call the significance of making sure that we are not placing our trust in ourselves rather than the Lord. Reminding me that we can trust God with our lives and our marriages. This pace is not God’s will for my marriage. Running at a constant breakneck speed will prohibit me from living out my calling. It will prohibit me from giving the time and attention to what really matters. I don’t want to miss the blessings of life as a Godly wife.
The Legacy of a Godly Wife
What kind of legacy does a Godly wife leave? Are you living your faith out in your marriage in such a way that you would be okay with your son or your daughter repeating similar patterns? I can tell you right now that I don’t want my girls settling for “good enough” in their marriages.
As the mother of two wonderful girls, who are brave, tenacious and bold I want to ensure that I model a wifestyle for them that reflects a trust in God over self; that recognizes the value of and celebrates a slower pace. Also, I want to model a wifestyle that reflects the actions of a woman who puts her husband first, who always keeps something in reserve just for him. And, I want my children to see how God honors and blesses this kind of wifestyle.
Wrapping up this final leg of the Book Blog Tour I want to share with you a few more things that Jen shared with me. They were good advice for a woman who needs to carve out more space for her husband and her marriage in order to live out her role as a godly wife.
- Set aside time for the things you know your husband enjoys.
- Cherish the seasons and don’t rush them along.
- Don’t diminish the value of small things; not everything has to be grandiose.
- Cultivate an atmosphere of love and appreciation.
Here are a couple questions to consider as we finish up this book:
- What does it look like for you to live out your faith in your marriage?
- What do you need to put a stake in?
If you happened to miss any of the posts from the blog tour check out these amazing women.