Work Mom: Love Your Self

Love Your Self
Work Mom – Love Your Self

Hard To Love

Struggling with the transition from subtraction to multiplication, my oldest came home crying the other day certain that she “couldn’t” do it.  Her self doubt and anxiety manifesting in a fear not rooted in truth.  That night as she lay in bed I kneeled by her side and shared about strong holds, how we all have them and how satan uses them to waylay our lives.  With the insight only a mother can possess, I recounted some of times I’d seen satan use fear to derail or discourage her.  I kissed her good night and prayed over her well – but before I could get up to walk out the door she said “Mommy, what’s yours?”

“My what?” I replied.

“What’s you stronghold?” She asked.

Honestly, at that moment I wanted to make something up.  Something benign that wouldn’t make me look flawed and weak.  I didn’t want to reveal my kryptonite – to my daughter of all people.

I mumbled “Sometimes mommy doesn’t feel lovable.”

“What?!” She asked.

“Sometimes mommy doesn’t feel lovable.”

“Huh?” She replied.

Sweet Jesus I thought, must we do this?  I took a deep breath, “Sometimes mommy feels like it is hard to love her.”

There, I said it.

The look on her face was incredulous . . . and then the affirmations came rolling in  from my sweet 7 year old.

It's hard to love your self when you don't feel loveable. #WorkMom #selflove #selfcareisnotselfish Click To Tweet

Love Your Self

Loving your self is not only important to the way we feel and care for ourselves, it’s also significant in the message we model and send our children about how they grow to feel and care for themselves as well as those around them.  Our displays of self-love set forth a pattern and expectations for their own lives.

As a working mom, the messages and demands we face can be overwhelming.  Attempting to be all things to all persons is not only exhausting, it’s impossible.  But, if you’re anything like me, the impossibility of it doesn’t stop you from trying.  We’re not quitters – even when the expectations are completely unreasonable.

Trying to be all things to all persons is not only exhausting, it's impossible. #WorkMom #MomLife Click To Tweet

It is so undeniably  easy to buy into the sentiment that self-love and self-care are two things we can do without.  And so, with little resistance we are readily drawn  into a pattern of setting aside our own well being and happiness for that of those that rely and depend on us.  But at some point the tank runs empty; our mental, physical and emotional  well being fall into disrepair.  We stop doing those things that make us happy – those things we did before we got married, had children and accepted the latest promotion.

We tell ourselves there is too much to do, never allowing for a movie night unless it’s a quarterly trip to the theater.  We stop walking or running or jazzercising – and instead spend our evening running our kids from one activity to the next.  Often the only books we read are found on the marriage and parenting shelves.  Sound familiar?

What Does It Look Like

Momma, you must decide, purpose and take the time to love your self.  Schedule it into your calendar, set alerts, advise your spouse, your BFF, or your secretary – whoever it is that will hold you accountable.  Giving your brain and soul a rest are so much more productive and beneficial than eating chocolate.  Trust me.

While a weekend at the spa might be the epitome of self-care it’s not a reality for most of us for a variety of reasons.  But you don’t need two  nights at the spa to feel better.  Maybe you commit to two walks a week – unaccompanied by any of those that at one time called you “momma.”  Or, perhaps you engage in a little brain rest and pick up a fiction book for the first time in a year.

Love Your Self
Two books I picked up a garage sale in the neighborhood for a quarter a piece.

Momma, whatever it looks like for you, please understand that self-love and self-care is as important to you as the oxygen you breathe.  You need to consider it the same way you would the mask dropping from the airplane ceiling – the flight attendant always advises you to put your own mask on first before helping someone else.  Especially in the instance of small children.  Momma, it’s time to put your mask on.

10 thoughts on “Work Mom: Love Your Self

  1. This is perfect! So many times I try to explain why I do the things I do (ex. teaching fitness classes for my “me” time). There seems to always be a groan or complaint every time I step out the door to have my “me” time and then I feel guilty! Am I doing the right thing I think to myself. When I come back home and I become momma again, I know I’ve done my kids and husband a solid by taking the time I needed for me. Of course, I think I would benefit from some additional solitary “me” time. Your words are music to my ears! Thank you for the insight!

    1. You’re welcome! I feel the same way about my Wednesday and Saturday runs with my women’s running team. This momma needs time to run off the crazy.

  2. I have to battle against jealousy with my friends who get me time. My husband drives over the road and is rarely home, and I teach at home. It’s been four years of this but before that it was a decade of other struggle so I have hit rock bottom a few times, and I was raised in church too. God is big, but i def find this is an area where I need help in. When we moved out of town it did help. Living in town was too crowded and I had a hard time saying no to serving so I always had too much going on. Even still I find myself getting myself stuck in this rut, so I am writing through it all on my blog. I actually made a freebie for others but mainly to hold myself accountable so I would remember to CHILL and just be. I really appreciate this and think maybe I should add your blog to my favs LOL! (Found you at #TellHisStory)

  3. Thanks for linking up with #PlantingRoots this week! This statement really resonates with so many: “We stop doing those things that make us happy – those things we did before we got married, had children and accepted the latest promotion.” Hoping our readers will be encouraged to take more time for themselves because of your post! As women, we need to constantly encourage each other in the self-care department.

  4. I work from home, but don’t really make any money doing it and I love it so much it doesn’t really feel like work, so I often feel like I don’t deserve “me” time, like I get it everyday. But I have to remind myself “me” time is different. Thanks for this much needed food for thought. Glad to have found this through the Planting Roots link up! Blessings!

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