To ponder and to savor

I am excited about the new year; hopeful about the changes coming our way.

My family will be moving in the next six months and I find such peace in the promise of a new and more permanent home I can call our own.

We are also expecting a new addition to our family; a baby due at the end of July. I spent two years agonizing over whether adding to our already large and extended family (1 daughter, 3 stepdaughters and 3 granddaughters) was the right decision; finally surrendering to the call to “trust Him.”

With all of the new and exciting things coming our way (and these are only the ones I know about) I find myself considering how I want to enter and walk through the new year. Usually, my approach to life involves putting my head down and plowing forward with determination, grit and purpose. I’ve been described as “driven”, a trait that has led to much in the way of personal and professional achievement. However, it is also a trait that keeps me moving from one project/challenge to the next; leaving me with little time to rest or simply be. In my early to mid twenties (when I was single and without a family of my own) this pattern of activity filled the gaps without any apparent detriment. As I prepare to enter my 38th year I find that this pace is not compatible with all of the hats I how wear (wife, mother to a 4-year-old, expectant mother, stepmother to a soon to be senior and professional/career woman). This last year God has revealed to me through friends, family and my health the need to slow the pace, change my approach and reconsider how I order my days.

In 2014, I am going to spend more time pondering. I want to consider more carefully that which I say “yes” and “no” to; I want to spend more time pondering my marriage, evaluating our relationship and the needs of my husband. I want to sit and ponder each of my children, considering their hearts and the mom they need me to be. I want to listen more and be fully present when my four year tells me about the events of her day and I want to hear what our 16 year old is saying with her silence. I want to spend more time with God, pondering carefully that which He has called me to do and discerning that which is for someone else.

Not only do I want to ponder, but I also want to savor completely the events of our life. I am going to stop moving so quickly from one plan or project to the next. I want to find rest in my days and weeks and months.

Perhaps these seem like simple, intangible resolutions for the new year – certainly you cannot measure them with numbers on a scale. Maybe I will start a secret tally of the things I say “no” to or walk away from. I expect that these changes will be some of the most challenging; requiring wisdom, discernment and discipline. I also expect that if I am successful they will be some of the most rewarding choices I’ve ever made.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

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